Growing up as little girl in church, I found myself feeling
inadequate. Regardless of what I did it wasn’t enough. As a teenager that
morphed into an” I’mma do me and say nothing.” attitude outwards but on the
inside became a “Be so good, they can’t ignore Me.” attitude.
Fast-forward 15ish years. I still struggle with this… the problems are
1)
I’m not BBM (Barack, Beyoncé, or Michelle). I don't have fans or haters.
Ain’t nobody checking for me. There are so many times I’ve found myself in
situations waiting on specific people to say good job or “I see you doing your
thing.” But honestly those are the people that don’t care. They could care less
if I’m winning or losing.
2)
I spend too much time focusing on the wrong
things in life. I’m not enjoying the great things about my journey by focusing
on proving to others how AWESOME I am. I end up staying in situations long
past their expiration date and sometimes end up miserable.
As I continue to journey to be perfectly imperfect and apologetically
me, I’m learning not to care if you notice me or not. Truly trying accept that your
acknowledgement of me does not make or break my awesomeness.
I have chosen (or have been chosen by) a path of public service. I a lot of what I do, I don't do for accolades. I do what I do for the betterment of others. I don't get awards or make a lot of money. My path is rewarding in so many ways that can never be shown.
Love it!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Delete