Judgement

*Disclaimer - This was originally written at the beginning of 2012.... Blogs don’t get posted if you don’t hit publish.... Oh silly me! Anywho, boy have times have changed in over a year. Enjoy this late post. *

If you know me, you know that I probably the most “men ain’t shit” person ever. LOL If there was a man hating women’s club, I’d probably hold a leadership position. I am the first person to tell someone to run when a man screws up. Especially when she can do better or if I feel she is getting played to the left. I am a firm believer that I and any other woman doesn't necessarily NEED a man. They are really nice to have when they treat you well, respect you, etc. but in this day and time you don’t need one to make it in life.If you follow/read my blog you will know that I ran into a small situation a few weeks ago (read about it here). After giving myself the side eye, I have continued this relationship. Now, you can give me the side eye too if you would like. No worries, I have already given myself the side eye and have gotten it from my friends. This is like my personal diary response as to why I am still going with this.... Please realize this isn’t for you or him. It’s for me. I am just choosing to let you read my “justifications”... Enjoy.

• This “relationship” has history. Had this been some dude I had just met, I would’ve been gone like the wind, but this relationship was one that I had chosen to pursue not solely because he was a cute BMW (black man working). It was based upon past/current friendship. Something I felt like I should probably stick around for.... I guess time will tell if that is the case or not.
• No one is perfect. Everyone is entitled to ONE fuck up. This is his.... He got his out of the way early. I advise that he don’t make this shit a habit or he will find himself getting his Kool-Aid out of a packet.
• When I finally gave him the opportunity to give his side of the story, I KINDA believed it, well some of it. He claims he was trying to get out of the back and forth relationship with her. *insert side eye here* Regardless if I should believe it or not, now he’s out. Let’s see how it plays out.

As I’ve matured I’ve accepted that there are occasions in life where I have to take the bad with the good to reap the harvest God promised me. I’ve realized that I shouldn’t always be so quick to count someone out because of mistakes. Hell, I’m not perfect nor can I expect anyone else to be, but I should become a doormat either. We have to find a happy medium that we can live with in life. We need to look and try to see if things are real and genuine or not. Hopefully we can come out #winning in life.

Life's Fear

Once upon a time there lived a little girl who was afraid.... afraid of everything!  She was terrified of animals and public speaking just to name a few. This little girl knew that these fears were holding her back in life. She was on a mission to overcome these fears. She took on roles in life, where she was forced to speak in front of crowds (i.e. serving as a student leader throughout her educational experiences and a few various pageants). She was forced to overcome that fear. She can now be found having opportunities to represent an arena football team on mics throughout RVA and even  spent one Saturday MCing a dance competition.  To tackle the animal fear, she went out and got a dog and now is a animal.... well dog... lover and not completely afraid of other animals.

Fears can hold you back from your destiny; whatever it may be. You need to find the fears that are hindering you, in your life and TACKLE them like you are the defensive line jumping on the wide receiver. Don’t attempt to tackle them all at once, but don’t be afraid to go for it. Life will be so much better when you are able to enjoy it with no constraints.

What fears will you be tackling?

Mellie or Liv

Okay so dear Shonda has gotten me hooked on another of her evening soaps yet again. After this season's end of the Scandal, I kinda got motivated to another video blog. Here it is! Enjoy!

The Return of the Blog

Recognize I'm back!!!

Here is the return of my blog. Writing just wasn't working for me!  I am excited to see what I back track and rediscover in my life.

My Type

People always use to ask me what is my “type” and I always would respond with, “Ummm (placing finger on my chin)... Just a male working. I don’t really have a type. LOL” You know you have those people trying to “hook you up.” I always use to think that they were talking about a “physical” type, but as I reflect more on my life, I have realized that type doesn’t always have to be physical. For me, I’ve figured it is more than looks. . If you look at the men I’ve dated they all look very different.

I have realized that I AM drawn to a certain “type” of man. I feel that as a woman, I should be taken care of, protected, and attempted to be provided for, and I am drawn to men who possess the qualities to be providers and caretakers such as intelligence, business degrees, athleticism, drive, and passion (just to name a few) . Importance isn't in what attributes I have found to be my “type” but why these qualities are “my type.” As we go out in “search” of our “type” of man, let’s look at the qualities that make “our type.” Are they the real qualities that will hold longevity in a relationship and why are they important to us? Remember, that physical attributes should be limited on your list of “type” because good looks probably won’t last forever and will not get you through hard times. Your relationship will need to weather the storms of life and good looks won’t help then.

Friends

As a single woman with many single friends, I wonder how we’re supposed go about finding men to date. My friends who are in “relationships” that seem to have some longevity have a strong element of friendship. Can you really meet a new BFF in a bar with a system full of vodka, as he’s trying to get you home in his bed? Ummm... NO! As I reflect on my past meaningful “relationships”, they have been with guys who I’ve considered friends, guys who I could just hang out with and were cool to be around. Ladies, as we go out “looking” for Mr. Right, let’s not forget to be on the look out for guys who possess qualities that an awesome BFF should possess. I’m sure those qualities will make lasting relationships. Just think, me and my “real” BFF have been friends since I was 8. Almost 20 years later, we can fuss and cuss each other out and still go strong. You need to establish that type of relationship with your significant other where you can talk, hang out, party, have each other’s back, hit the bumps and keep it moving. That’s what’s going to make your relationship last. In short ladies, get out of the club looking for a man. I just don’t know where to tell you to go on your search...

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