Go With Life's Flow

Going with life's flow...

Every time I log on to the “Book of Faces”, my timeline is flooded with engagement pictures, family pictures, and let’s not forget the baby bumps. Hey! I am 20 something which means most of my friends are in their 20s and are quickly approaching 30 something (if they haven’t already reached that milestone). That’s what 20 somethings do, right? You know, they get married, have babies, take family photos, etc. It’s just the progression of life...right?

Then, I get the inevitable phone call/text from my friend: “Did you see that (insert random person’s name) is (insert exciting life milestone)? Why are WE getting left behind on life?”

Hold up! Wait a minute?! We?! Bahahahha no, boo-boo! WE are not getting left behind. I’m just going with the flow and letting life happen and I’m cool with that. LOL She may feel that she is getting left behind on life... still on the “search” for true love, wanting the happily ever after part of the fairy tale. Now I’ll admit that I, too, have those thoughts from time to time. That’s kinda what happens at my age, but I’ve learned time and time again that the grass isn’t ALWAYS greener on the other side. Do I really need to be in a rush to give up the me I love and the life I’ve built for the WE (husband and kids)?

We as women need to naturally go with plan that was already put in place for us; let our lives take their own course. We are not always going to arrive at the same milestones at the same time. Hey, some of my friends’ kids will probably be going to the prom before my baby shower... *Kanye Shrugs* but that is the progression of my life. To answer my own question, after I go from ME to WE... “me-time” may be gone forever, well at least ‘til the little part of WE and my money goes off to college. Until that time, I’m going let life happen. Who knows, my ME may eventually turn into WE, but it will be on my life’s timeline and not based upon anyone else’s.

Act Like a Lady... Think Like a Man

If you know me, you probably would classify me as a “Southern Belle”,you know a “prissy girl”. There are things that my country self swears by: I always must have earrings, I tend to be quiet (unless I’m in my “Sasha” mode), etc. It’s just who I am. Even in my fitted t-shirt and flat shoe lifestyle I get this label often, but in some aspects of my life I’m not sooooo girlie.

My friends, who grew up with me, assume that I have no heart. *kanye shrugs* Actually, it’s not a horrible assumption. I don’t usually openly discuss my love life and I DO NOT do PDA! YUCK! LOL (Okay, I’ve done it maybe once.... but that’s another story.) Example: In high school, my boyfriend dumped me...whomp whomp whomp; I get to school and my friends were asking a zillion questions. My response: I don’t know and I don’t care. They believed that I should have pleaded with this boy to stay with me...NOPE!! Not I! He can bounce (especially if he’s waiting on all that)! And life went on.... I don’t fall in love every other week and do a lot of those “girlie” things.

I would completely classify myself as the ultimate bachelorette. I have no real issue when I’m only a man’s option because he’s probably the same with me. *kanye shrugs* I play my role and I let his actions dictate what that is and then I decide if I’m willing to play along. Contrary to this blog, I’ve realized I may not really be seriously looking for love (although I may wander upon it). I enjoy going out getting a few drinks (hopefully free), giving out my number with no real intentions on answering. I enjoy the single girl lifestyle and its perks. Now you may be judging me but, If I was a dude would you?

5 Things to do as a Single Woman

Here are my 5 must-dos for a single woman.

Most women will not get married before the age 35. We all need something to do as we wait on Mr. Right!

5 - Do something fun! Enjoy life!

4 - Chill the fuck out! Your husband is coming (more than likely) and you need to enjoy your life RIGHT NOW!

3 - Learn something to make you better. Take a pole dancing class or a cooking class, etc. It’s the little things make life better/more enjoyable, and hey - your future Mr. won’t mind these little extras. ;-)

2- Save some money and work on the credit that you may or may not have totally disregarded in college! You may want to have a wedding or a buy a house someday. Let’s not forget those little expensive people that result from a happy union. Aside from that, it’s always nice to have a little money in the bank to cushion us from life’s unexpected blows, whether single or married.

1- See the world and travel! The world has SO much to offer. Go check it out! Have an Eat, Pray, Love moment! And there is no better time than now!

Recorded in beautiful Peurta Vallarta, Mexico.

Dating an Independent Woman

No worries fellas... I don't care to be your momma nor do I need a daddy... I want an independent partner. Can you be that somebody?

Dating me in 2011 is clearly different than dating me in 2001 Today, I am an independent woman. Destiny’s Child said it best “Tell me what you think about me...only ring your cell-y when I'm feelin’ lonely. When it's all over please get up and leave... Tell me how you feel about this. Try to control me boy you get dismissed... I pay my own bills...” I have 2 degrees. Ending my 3rd year as a real adult, I feel my relationships are different from those who are in a different place in their lives....

As a single, degreed woman who has been living an independent “adult” life for several years now, I’m different. I have an established life. I’m taking care of myself, paying bills, taking the vacations that I can afford and want to go on. I come and go as I please and I don’t share my daily agenda with anyone. I haven’t lived with my parents in almost 10 years and struggled with that knowing my every move when I lived with them. I have my own interests, dreams, goals, etc. I’m no longer on a “search” for myself. I am confident in who I am and all I have to offer.

I look around and I see women, who lead similar lives. Fellas, I sometimes feel that you have old “expectations” for us. As successful Black woman approaching 30 (I am crying as I openly admit this), who keeps company with like-minded women, I no longer have the same expectations for you as I had in my early twenties... well maybe I do but they have been slightly tweaked. I am still looking for a man who has himself together or at least is a work in progress. I’m completely satisfied and am where I desire to be in life. I understand that the cards might not have completely stacked in your favor...yet - and I’m ok with that. I don’t have unrealistic expectations. I just desire for you to be working and a person “on the grow”, becoming a better you as I become a better me. I understand that you have friends and life, I don’t expect you to drop everything for me, but to carve room for me in your life. I know I don’t really need to know your every move (especially because I’m not telling you mine.). I am not a member of the young Destiny’s Child wanting you to pay my bills. I don’t want to control you nor do I want to be controlled. I am looking for a partner in life.

I’m like a sock looking for my match...

LYS

Mrs. LYS-Right...

After reading The Name Change Dilemma, an article that discussed how more women are choosing to adopt their husbands’ names after marriage instead of keeping with the 90’s trend of keeping their maiden names. I guess the 90’s women mentality has left. I couldn’t help but wonder what I’d do when that time came.

I’ve been LYS for 20 something years, it’s all I know and I love being LYS. I’ve been that person my entire life, now I meet this wonderful man and magically become someone else. Hmm...I don’t think so. I know that couldn’t just drop MY name and add Mr. Right AND his last name. I’m not even close to getting married right now, but women all over the world and I since childhood have thought about more times than we can count. I have come to the conclusion that when the time comes, I would legally hyphenate my name and keep all 3 zillion letters. Professionally I will remain LYS. As a wife and a mother, (*o*) I’d use my newly acquired last name.

Ladies and fellas, after reading this what do you think? Guys, do you want your wife to change her name to your name completely? Why or why not? Ladies, what do you intend to do upon marrying your soul mate? Why or why not?