It's A Small World

So a few weeks ago, my parents came to visit here in RVA. We, along with my aunt and uncle, went to church. I’ll admit it; I was cute! Hey, I like to be fresh for Jesus. I wore a black pencil skirt with tan pinstripes, a tan sweater, nude pumps, and a burnt orange jacket. After church, we decided on a late breakfast at Aunt Sarah’s, [my] favorite breakfast restaurant.
After arriving for breakfast, I sashayed into the restaurant (heels turned on my “Sasha Fierce” mode... lol). After being seated, I sat texting while waiting on my family. I decided I wanted to sit where I could see who was entering the restaurant, so I got up and moved my seating at the table. Before I moved, I really hadn’t paid any attention to the patrons sitting at the table next to me, aside from the fact they were black and looked to be roughly my age. As I moved, I glanced over and [saw] someone who I thought looked familiar. After a closer look, it hit me: that’s (insert his name), my sister’s old boo and his girlfriend! I glanced over again and saw another familiar face…his friend, my high school ex. I’m sure that one of the ladies at the table was his current significant other. Immediately, I decided I wasn't going to acknowledge them. Was I rude?!?! Ummm…maybe. LOL! Here’s my reasoning…

1. They were obviously out with their boos and the situation had the potential to become extremely awkward, really fast.

2. They clearly saw me first. How did I know this? Good question: I KNOW how I entered that restaurant. I was definitely in my "important person" mode and not as if I wore sneakers and a hoodie. If you know me, I’m sure you know the difference.

3. Neither of them ever parted their lips.

4. My parents were with me and know said non-speaking indvidual. I knew my father would definitely have made a scene.

5. This old boo was part of the motivation for [starting] this blog. Let’s just say the last time we talked like a year ago was not... ummm...positive. At all.

Regardless of your opinion of my decision to not speak, I didn’t and stand steadfast in my decision.

Time

How long is too long or too short? In light of the quickie Kim K wedding and divorce, the matter of time crossed my mind. Can commitment come too quickly or can it take too long?

The Kardashian crew are notorious for their quickie engagements and marriages. I'll admit, I'm a Kardashian lover *hides face in shame*. Kris and Bruce met on a blind date, got engaged, and were married in less than 5 months. They seem happy. Khloe and Lamar had a romance that seemed to have blossomed overnight; 19 days, I think. Let me just say, I love them! They aren't perfect, but seem to really adore each other. Kourtney and Scott have a level of commitment that works for them, as dysfunctional as their relationship may seem at times. They’re not in a rush to marry, nor is their level of commitment affected by the lack of rings and papers. Poor little Kimmie, real or fake, she’s searching for love. She and Kris met and married in less than a year. Let’s propose that their quickie romance was real, did they rush it to be married?

Now on the flip side, I have a friend who has been in a "relationship" for like four years to everyone EXCEPT her "boyfriend". He refuses to commit to the title. They do real relationship things together such as taking trips and spending time with each other's family and, to top it off, they are each other's best friend. Sounds about perfect, right? How long should she wait for him to commit? It’s not like she’s asking him to propose or anything, but I'm sure some sort of commitment on his part would be nice. BUT, is it necessary? And, if so, how long should she wait for it?


I don’t think there is any set amount of time that will make a relationship work. It is all about the relationship and commitment you have with the other and the desire to make it work.

Homie... Lover... Friend

So when I was about 20, a "friend" announced to me in the mall that she "had my man." I remember looking at her thinking: "excuse me, heifer?!" Upon further investigation, I found out all and more than I cared to know about their little situation. How much more you ask? Let’s just say I was livid then and many years later, it still irks me.I present this scenario for 2 reasons:

1) I admit that I've done my share of effed up things, but I wouldn't dare broadcast or brag about them. This poor child thought it was cool to announce her role as “my man’s” jump off. *__* Did this somehow make her better than me? *bbm confused face* She clearly had some self-esteem issues and scars that were far too jacked up to be repaired. Welp, there is another little girl somewhere who can be saved. Luckily, I’ve had respectable male figures who kept me in line while giving me appropriate male attention. I didn't need to run out and search for love and affection when I became of age. It is our responsibility to ensure that little brown girls everywhere know their true value and that it doesn't reside between their thighs. A woman's worth lies in her heart, mind, and soul.

2.) I know you're saying that this happened like 6 or 7 years ago, Let. It. Go. I honestly thought I had, but about a year ago it came full circle and stared me in the face. When it originally happened, I decided that he and I could NEVER work in that way, but a year ago as I began my blog, his "name" was mentioned. I have spent the last year coming to terms with the fact that I have had to "share". I have issues; I don't knowingly want any one's sloppy-seconds. I can't stand when a dude tries to date someone in my circle and then tries to date me; he gets played. I’ve had a hard time not making my current "relationship" a sloppy-seconds scenario, especially since I was first...lol! With much reflection and assessment of the situation, I can say I have made peace enough to move forward. Would I leave them in a room unsupervised? Ummm…HELL NO!

Back Story

I didn't ALWAYS go home after those Varsity Basketball Games...

So in recent weeks, I've decided to charge full force ahead with this Jay-Z thing. Things seem to have gotten a little more serious with us. Ok, so here’s a little background information on this "relationship”, considering that it may become a hot topic in my blog: Jay-Z’s and my relationship dates back about 10 years when we were both in high school. Technically, you could say that we're 10 years strong like Bey and Jay (cue Beyonce). He was that high school boo who I "talked" to off and on during my junior and senior year, but NEVER officially dated. After high school, he went to VMI and I went the real HU. And we lived happily ever after...SIKE! We did remain friends, but didn't really reconnect until after graduating from college. And the story continues....

Go With Life's Flow

Going with life's flow...

Every time I log on to the “Book of Faces”, my timeline is flooded with engagement pictures, family pictures, and let’s not forget the baby bumps. Hey! I am 20 something which means most of my friends are in their 20s and are quickly approaching 30 something (if they haven’t already reached that milestone). That’s what 20 somethings do, right? You know, they get married, have babies, take family photos, etc. It’s just the progression of life...right?

Then, I get the inevitable phone call/text from my friend: “Did you see that (insert random person’s name) is (insert exciting life milestone)? Why are WE getting left behind on life?”

Hold up! Wait a minute?! We?! Bahahahha no, boo-boo! WE are not getting left behind. I’m just going with the flow and letting life happen and I’m cool with that. LOL She may feel that she is getting left behind on life... still on the “search” for true love, wanting the happily ever after part of the fairy tale. Now I’ll admit that I, too, have those thoughts from time to time. That’s kinda what happens at my age, but I’ve learned time and time again that the grass isn’t ALWAYS greener on the other side. Do I really need to be in a rush to give up the me I love and the life I’ve built for the WE (husband and kids)?

We as women need to naturally go with plan that was already put in place for us; let our lives take their own course. We are not always going to arrive at the same milestones at the same time. Hey, some of my friends’ kids will probably be going to the prom before my baby shower... *Kanye Shrugs* but that is the progression of my life. To answer my own question, after I go from ME to WE... “me-time” may be gone forever, well at least ‘til the little part of WE and my money goes off to college. Until that time, I’m going let life happen. Who knows, my ME may eventually turn into WE, but it will be on my life’s timeline and not based upon anyone else’s.