Happiness

I feel like I have focused a lot on love in my blog, but I have left out another important part.... HAPPINESS. Love has a part in being happy but it isn’t the only factor. Happiness is a state of being. A lot of things go into being happy. Overall, happiness can mean living “the good life”. Now here is where the issue comes, what constitutes “living the good life”? My meaning and your meaning may be completely different and I can name at least 10 people who fall into that category. And I’m sure what the good life to you means to you changes over time. What made my life good at 15 would not be the “good life” now.

The good life for me right now is hmm..... handling my own, having meaningful relationships with the people around me (family and friends), doing the things I love, living life and enjoying every breath of air, experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly (I try to limit the bad and ugly) and learning and growing from them...What does living the good life mean to you?

Single and Fabulous

After my rant about me hating Valentine's Day, I figured I should redeem myself. To set the record straight, I am single and LOVING it! I am living a life that I am enjoying. I have the job that I want and I currently like most days (when I don't have to deal with adults). I get to dance SEVERAL times a week and my body look better than I did 10 years ago( I finally mastered making my boobs look like they finally grew in...LOL) . I get up and go when I get ready and stayed involved in all the wonderful things in which I want to be involved. I have had and continue to have opportunity to see the world. The most common words in this paragraph are my and I. So, if you haven't noticed I love me!

I look around and I'm sure I'm not READY (and for some may never be) for the other options. I work with kids all day; I really don't think I want to leave work and deal with my own kids. Now I have quite a few friends with bundles of "joy" and a niece who lives with me but they are not my children. I can deal with them when I want and not be bothered when I don’t. Now don't get me wrong, I love kids but I don't care to have any of my own at the moment.

Then there is the man option. Having a boyfriend/boo has its perks but it also comes with disadvantages. I understand that not all relationships are drama-filled and loveless, but I can’t help but feel some kind of way as I look at some of my friends’ relationships. I wasn’t built to handle my phone blowing up every from a man asking a zillion questions because he feels like he is my only contact in the outside world each time my Facebook or twitter accounts shows some activity - I would go insane! Another aspect of relationships that I have a hard time handling…checking in. We all must admit we do it regardless of the nature of the relationship, not only when the relationship lacks trust or when we’re curious about his location and what/who he’s doing. Nor could I handle the abuser (verbal, physical, psychological or sexual, to name a few) or let me just say he probably couldn't handle me. I will admit I have control issues and I very seriously doubt that I would ever live with having that little control in any relationship. I do believe my love for myself would make it hard for any man to belittle me, destroy my self-esteem/self-confidence or physically abuse me (I will fight back even knowing my ass will probably get kicked but, I'm not gonna just sit and let anybody beat my ass!)

Luckily for me, I don't believe that being the "Single Woman" is a straight path to becoming that old bitter black woman. I have seen women who live into old age happy with the single life and all they have accomplished on their own. If that is the woman I am destined to become, I'll be happy with all it has to offer! Sure, I still hope that one day I'll find someone I love just as much as love myself to share my life with, until then... the single life continues and I'm enjoying every second of it!

Valentine's Day

On February 14th, I am a TRUE primary school teacher. I have to wear red or pink. The theme is hearts...hearts here...hearts there...hearts everywhere! Of course I have to share pink frosted cupcakes on heart plates. We share our love for one another all day long. After a day of being forced to spread love, by nightfall....I HATE Valentine’s Day aka well Singles Awareness Day. It has become a yearly reminder that I am single. Every time I enter a store, I and every other single person are overwhelmed by the flood of hearts and lovey-dovey bullshit. In the event that the other 364 days I forgot that I am single (which I didn’t and don’t), February 14th is the slap in the face.



Now I will admit that this day is not always a bummer. I like to give credit where credit is due. There were a few men throughout my life who get the “You Got Game” award (genuine or not) for Valentine’s Day. Shout out to the 10th grade boyfriend, he had game. Shout out to both the guys who sent roses my senior in high school, they had game (and apparently so did I). Shout out to the freshman year in college boo... his game was the best. I admit, I have a historuy of being a sucker for good game. It doesn’t matter how “real” they keep it, it's the thought that counts. Even the bullshitters who have game have put in some degree of work, an I appreciate it.



Now to the lames who show up at 10pm with all that lovey-dovey bullshit picked up from the neighborhood CVS, after they've started mark downs...they should have saved their money and spared me the reminder that I need an upgrade.

Luckily for myself, I am good cheap date on this day! LOL. Single Awareness doesn’t mean I’m depressed. The day is meant to show your love and appreciation to and for loved ones. I do believe in showing myself some love. It means a great dinner, some good reading and a good bottle of wine (all which I can afford on my own), while reminiscing about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

To all you lovers out there, I wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day. For us single ladies and gents, Happy Single’s Awareness Day!

Too "Perfect"

All my life, I was raised to be a lady. My mother had more than a few ideas of the traits she believed real lady should possess. A lady always wears earrings. It is unacceptable for a lady to talk to a boy/man after 10pm. Calling guy in general was frowned upon and after 9pm was a major no-no. My father always said he was going to have my sister and I fixed so we wouldn’t have children before we were adults - those 3 letters were forbidden...S-E-X.

I will say that I bought into that whole “act like a lady” idea a bit more than my rebellious little sister. These southern belle ideals have been drilled into my head for so long, that they are no longer just a list of traits, but a lifestyle. Throughout my adult life, I have been called a “southern belle” and even compared to Charlotte from “Sex and the City.” I grew up believing that no man wants a to marry a “loose” woman; however, I can't help but think that maybe "they" do want the loose woman, because those are the women who "have a ring on it." Now the questions begin, has my southern belle-living been in vain? Unlike what I've read in fairy tales and watched in "Gone With the Wind" type movies, this lady is not married.
On a recent date with Mr. LT, he mentioned that he thought I was an angel with a halo and all...he was intimidated by it. I took that as a compliment, as I have worked so hard to give off that vibe, but has that all worked in my favor? No. I hadn’t planned for it scare off men (especially the ones I want). Now don’t get me wrong, my “halo” has lost some of its luster and has a few dings on it, but has my “perfection” been part of my reason that pursuit continues? Oh well, (as I adjust my halo) this southern belle continues her pursuit…

When it rains it pours….. men that is…

They say when a woman ovulates, men are naturally more attracted to her. Is that possible on facebook and via text messages? They also say men want a women who is already taken. These sayings I’ve heard a thousand times, but I’ve come to believe that there is some truth to these sayings.

I can spend a lot of time “focusing on myself”, but the second I decide to spend time “focusing” on someone other than myself my blackberry and facebook go crazy. EVERY man I’ve known (or so it seems) is hitting me up. I feel like I’ve hit the dating jackpot, but then I realize I’m not really into too much of that casual dating thing. I can’t handle dating this one and that one. It’s too much for me to handle and the guys too. Too many guys happening at once ALWAYS ends badly. Luckily, I’m not a dude in this aspect (Many men would try to juggle as many as possible.) I have a one track mind. I pick one (maybe two) and focus my energies there. I try to pick the ones that appear at first to have the most potential.

Am I setting myself up for failure and disappointment because I don’t pursue them all …. I hope not because they also say you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.