I. Am. Not. The. Weekend.

"How you want me and you got a girl"

 I. Am. Not. The. Weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I love the song and can jam out to it but somewhere along the line, guys got it twisted. If you can’t or don’t want me from 9-5, I am unavailable to you on "weekend".  I’m not sure where they got the idea, I want to be 2^nd place. Like WTF?!? Thanks but no thanks. Stay home and enjoy your happily ever after or whatever you were doing.  I do not want to spend my down time getting whatever is left of you. I’d rather spend my time with myself.  My personal struggle is “what am I doing” to make you think that’s how I roll. I have to stop and remind myself. That I am unmarried, childless, and grown. I can do what the fuck I want! I can dress how I want. Do what I want. I am living my life for me. Not to some standards set by others. Being an “old maid” is not your invitation to offer me your bad karma and/or penis. I'm good boo. 

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Buy the Damn Glue Sticks!

It’s back to school time… womp womp womp…. I’m just getting started with summer vacation.  Every year around this time when stores put up their fancy back to school displays, I start to see all the complaints about buying school supplies. And you know what! It burns the depths of my soul! “Why do they need so many glue sticks? The teacher should….” *grabs pearls* The teacher probably spent way more on school supplies than the $50 per kid you will buy on top of the fact that your kids shoes cost more than what you spent on school supplies. I know that because I (who REFUSES or at least tries to not buy school supplies) has already spent $50 on school supplies. I still am waiting on 60 folders to go sale so I don’t have to spend $30 on folders and I’m going to buy at least 20 glue sticks myself.

YES!! Your child needs however many glue sticks are listed on the list and whatever is on the list. You don’t know how many glue sticks end up without tops on them and dry out, or kids roll all the way up and smash them when they try to put the top on it, or they cut them in half, or they just throw away for NO REASON! I’m running around like a glue stick police trying to keep all the glue sticks safe.  And let’s not talk about tissues. They grab a handful of tissues and WIPE their nose and throw them away. They didn’t blow it so it it’s continues to run, so before you know it, a box of tissues are gone in 30 minutes.  I spend at least a month (sometimes MUCH longer) teaching children how to not waste YOUR supplies so I don’t have to go into my stash. With all the gluing, writing, germs etc. your child needs all of the supplies listed … so just BUY THE DAMN GLUE STICKS!

My School supply list if I could send out my own would go something like this…

-          5 COMPOSITION books (not spiral notebooks- those wires are not safe)

-          2 boxes of Crayola crayons (They color the best.)

-          36 quality pencils (Cheap pencils are eaten up by the pencil sharpener and break it.)

-          2 pair of scissors

-          8 large or 12 regular sized Elmer’s glue sticks (the others dry out and end up in trash by March)

-          1 regular pencil box

-          plastic pocket folders with prongs in green, purple, and black

-          2 pocket folders of your child’s choice

-          8 highlighters

-          1 box of gallon sized zipper bags (girls)

-          1 box of sandwich sized zipper bags (boys)

-          2 regular sized bottles of hand sanitizer (not the little individual bottles)

-          Clorox/Lysol wipes

-          2 boxes of tissues

-          8 dry erase markers

-          1 pair of headphones

*You know your child, if he/she is clumsy, destructive, or messy you should purchase and send extra of these items. For those little people, the items listed will NOT last them/us through the year.*

Things not to send those little personal pencil sharpeners and fidget spinners. Additional requested items but not required by each child include notebook paper, cardstock, snacks, markers, paper plates, etc. Please feel free to reach out and request are sent out regularly.

But on a real note, teachers pour a lot of unpaid time as well as their own personal money into their classrooms and your child’s school year. The least you can do is send YOUR child to school READY to get the most of those 180 days. I am grateful every year for those parents who send in snacks, GLUE STICKS, etc. throughout the year! They are truly a blessing because some kids are not fortunate enough to afford supplies and brand new back to school gear and that helps me meet those children’s needs  and worry about more important things like ya know, teaching.  If you buy your 7 year old Jordans for his first day back, you do not need to be on my timeline complaining about .50 glue sticks... 

Be Humble.. Sit Down

Life is a humbling experience. You are reminded daily that regardless how amazing you think you are… somebody may not agree or you are not always as AWESOME as you’d like to think.

Life is a continuous All State commercial. You know the one with the old guy and the fishing rod. “You almost had it!” I feel like the person trying to get whatever he is dangling from that fishing rod on the regular.  I think I’m getting close to something, I get body slammed by life and told “not today boo!”

I’m learning just to roll with punches. Dodging the ones I can and attempting to take the ones that make contact like a G. Some days I’m down but not out!

Girls Trip

So I went to see Girls Trip this weekend and last weekend. First, let me say that was AWESOME!!! It is definitely going to be one of those movies I watch over and over on Saturdays and Sundays in my pjs. I loved seeing those black women be just that, black women. I even loved the Howard Homecoming plug (not to mention the HU Alum in the movie)! This movie reminded of me of my girls trips to Miami, Vegas, Mexico, and even NOLA just to name a few, where I’ve definitely had some Girls Trip moments. *sigh* Good times! *looks off into the clouds*

As I watched this movie, I sat and tried to figure out which of these characters I would be in my various circles of friends. I can see myself in each of them. Although, regardless of the group of friends, I’d be that person in the mosquito net about to “catch something” at some point in each of my trips. LOL I love a shress and good time.  But, I really connected with Ryan. The person who also seems to have it all together when in real life, her life isn’t as “perfect” as it seems. She’s struggling with the “can women really have it all?” dilemma which I’m sure so many of us battle regularly. For her right now, she doesn’t. I’m not going to spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it, but just know she has her struggles in the movie. I know we all struggle to know and accept our worth at times as we live out our disappointments, failures, and setbacks. I see(n) it and I’ve live(d) it.  Hell, I’ll be the first person to admit I struggle with this DAILY. She’s also is not as connected with her “girls” as she would like to be. Getting caught up in her own life as well as friend fall out, she and her frields have lost touch. I understand this. I have so many friends that I don’t see or talk to often but at the end of the day love is still there.

As I continue to walk this sometimes crooked path called my life I’ll look back on all my “Howard Homecoming/Graduation Keisha moments” with my girls and I smile and I’m thankful for those people who always have my back. We are all just trying to figure out what this thing called life has in store for us. I move forward, just trying to know my worth and requiring people to know it too!

Oh yea, to my Julian… I see you boo liking them post… *pulls down shades and looks over them*

What You Mean By That?

You ever had someone say something to you and in your head your go “Bitch! What you mean by that?” But you don’t say that, you just “smile and nod” and respond. Yea it happens to me and probably most us more than any of us would like to admit. The more I thought about it the more annoyed I got about this particular situation.

Let’s be real… I felt there were several things wrong with what was said. It was something along the lines of if the guy I had dated were to commit to me would I “keep myself up better”. For one, drawing on my eyebrows everyday ain’t. gonna. make.  no. man. want. me. HELL, this particular man didn’t want me at my Beyoncé. Which brings me to my next point, if a man doesn’t  want me at my Amanda Bynes crying in the dark hallway, he don’t deserve me at my Beyoncé looking good and slaying life. Which rolls right into, my next point. Bitch, I’m doing good to be standing, there are certainly days within the last few months I’ve been hella close to being that falling apart famous girl, we see in the media. But you’d never know. I’m doing the best I can to hold it all together. And even when I didn’t have a hold of it all, I still managed to get it all done. So nope my eyebrows aren’t drawn on and my hair is still in this tired ass ponytail but check the trail of glitter I left behind. When it’s all said and done people may not remember me for being fly as hell everyday but I’ll have more hearts that I can count that will remember to be their best selves because of me. But no worries, at my memorial they’ll be a fly ass face beat pic on my index card obituary and no casket, so the Llyods of the world will know I was “fine too”. LOL *wink face* *sashays in to the sunset with a hair flip*  

I Made It

And I can slay some fabric!

Well I’ve made it through another year of this thang called life.  The last year ended and this new one started at a rocky point but I am still standing. This year (like them all) has taught me so many lessons. From being hired to do a job and wanting to see a black man succeed to later realizing he is an ASSHOLE who can’t take feedback to grow. That opportunity allowed for me to learn how to stand up for myself and realize when it’s time to let things go. I can’t help all black people be the best version of themselves. Sometimes they don’t want this little black girl’s help. I’ve also been extremely frustrated when you are doing more than what is required and that is not being appreciated. I face a regular internal struggle when parents are unappreciative but the girls I work with are AMAZING. I really enjoying being able to bless them with experiences and skills but some parents make me want to be like “screw this”. On the flipside, I have the other parents who appreciative willing to do what they can to help! I’ve been reminded that a sense of entitlement is real in some people. Some people feel like you owe them something and others are thankful of what you do. I have to take the good with the bad in my attempt to empower young women of the future. I use these opportunity to hopefully show the girls to support one another and be appreciative of the things they are given. In addition, I’ve learned to let go and let it flow in certain areas of my life. It shall be what it will be and sometimes that is nothing. I’m okay with that.  What’s for me is for me. I can’t control everything and my life looks nothing like what I thought it would at this point of my life. So many around me are living the life I envisioned for myself.  I’m continuing to trust the journey of this thing called my life. Trust and believe that it is not always easy trusting my journey but at the end of the day, at this ripe young age of “25” I am blessed. My bills are paid, I eat well, and I work in areas I am passionate about. I have an amazing support system around me to help me keep my sanity when needed. I’m ready for what this next year has to offer me hopefully more good than bad!

Thankful

I’m the girl that a lot of times feels that no one is really “checking for me.” I’m not meaning in

necessarily a romantic way but just in general. I don’t think that I’d be that girl that if I threw this massive birthday party people would actually show up to it. If I just vanished, nobody would really miss me.  Pump ya breaks! I’m not suicidal or anything. I don’t do death/dead people, so I’m not trying to rush it. And in general I’m pretty pleased with my life. All things considered, I feel like I’m not doing too shitty in this thing called life in all the areas that really matter. At the same time, I don’t feel like I’m the most popular person in room and I am pretty okay with that.

These past few weeks have been an OVERwhelming to say the least. I am beyond appreciative and thankful for the pouring of support received these past weeks.  From the calls, thoughtful messages, visits, cards, help, thoughtful gifts, etc. I really appreciate it all! You know that you are doing something (or at least someone has) right in life when that many people are thinking about you. I know I can be that girl that fights battles that no one would ever know about and that sometimes feels lonely. It has been helpful to know that I am not.

As I continue this thing called life doing the work that my new “guardian angel” would continue to be proud of, I am thankful to all you for my full cup that I continue to pour from daily.  

I Believe!

I don’t understand how people don’t believe in something. Today is Resurrection Sunday and as I sat in church today, I realized I don’t understand how people who don’t believe in something, make it day to day. When I was little Christmas was sooooooo much better when I REALLY believed in Santa. Life now is soooo much better that I believe in a higher power. I am not the most religious person on the planet and really don’t go to church as much as I should, but I totally understand the benefit of believing in something greater. I am not saying who or what to believe in but for me knowing that God is has the power to work out all of my problems makes life so much better. 

2017 Resolutions

Disregard Chuck and Gee having a moment in the background!
Cheers to 2017! 

2017 new year! New me! Naaww just kidding. At this point, I am who I am.  But, I’m all for being a better me.

·         Go to church more. No explanation needed here!

·         Get this body back right – drink more water, have a better diet, and exercise

Sooo my big girl body is finally coming in. *does Beyonce booty bounce* BUT with that my abs have disappeared and I have 15 years’ worth of clothes (especially jeans) that I can’t fit. I’m one cookie/fry away from people asking me when my baby is due. Wait! I JUST went to an audition in 2016 and my body was in decent shape. This is NOT Okay.

·         Stop being friendly to the Fuq boyz.

I’ll let you marinate on that for a second…. Okay. Time is up! This is the area that I need to put more attention into. Stop entertaining those people who are wasting my time.  See my final bullet.

·         Continue to grow from the opportunities

I have been giving so many opportunities in the past year or so. These opportunities are growth agents!

·         Continue to work on being ready for the something new God has for me in 2017.