Love and Basketball/Football

Let's Go (Insert Favorite Team)!

In the spirit of the NBA playoffs, I figured I needed to take it here. I have several friends who are excited about both football and basketball seasons. They know every player’s name, team, number and stats. I am quite often blown by the fact that these aren’t my male friends, but my female friends. They love sports and everything associated. No, these aren’t my ugly tomboy dressing friends (I don’t have any of them), these are definitely some of my flyest homegirls who fit in this category. It always blows me that these ladies are single. They know and love one of most guys’ favorite past times...sports. (I am sure they can handle the other past time on their minds too.) Now, I don’t really fall into their category. I have an understanding of sports and have played many sports throughout my life (I didn’t say I was good.), but I don’t want to spend hours watching a game #let’sbehonest.

Do guys really “value” a woman who is into sports? One who can really talk the “game” with him?As I search for these answers, I continue on the pursuit…. For me and my friends….

He/I Didn't Stand a Chance

Now, on to the next one...


Upon starting my blog, I decided that I was not going to bring up “this situation”, but after a few months at it, I’ve decided that at this point I want to and I will. Hey - it’s my blog and I can write what I want…

After graduating from my beloved HU, I decided that I needed a break from our nation’s capital, so I moved to my beloved VA’s capital, Richmond, VA. My days of afternoon happy hours, Friday/Saturday night dresses and heels, and FINE black educated men were over! (Somebody should’ve warned me!) At the end of my first (horrible) year of teaching, “he” walks. He was like the first man I had seen in what felt like years, and (of course) he was an athlete. Neither of us stood a chance from jump…

To make a rather long and boring story short, a little less than a month later, to conclude the celebration of another 21st birthday, we went out for dinner. Before I know it, I’m heading into this “relationship” unsure of where it’s going. Rather than over-analyze things, I decide to go with the flow. At first, his game was good. I’ll admit I’m a sucker for that BS. You know walks in the park, trips down by the James (River), etc. Then one day, the honeymoon was over and the real BS began. First, it starts with me paying for more and more of the “dates” which was cool at first. (I like to eat out and I don’t really expect a man to treat me EVERY TIME we go out.) Then dates only happened if I said I wanted to go out or offered to treat…O_o. Eventually, our dates became outings with the two of us and his homeboy (luckily he was cool and probably reading this so #shoutout to him.). All of a sudden, it hit me. I was living my WORST nightmare. He was sitting on MY couch, watching MY TV, eating the food I bought and cooked. I felt as though I was getting a glimpse of what a future with him entailed… my heart stopped. I couldn’t and WOULDN’T live a life where I was bringing home the bacon, cooking it, and living based on his convenience.

It was down hill for him from there. After several attempts to end the relationship and admitting to him that I was looking for his replacement/upgrade, he was living on borrowed time. Living in RVA, this has been easier said than done, a year and a half later and still, I technically haven’t found a replacement here. For some odd reason, I couldn’t get out, that is, until… he “let me” out of the web I was seemingly tangled in.

He hopped on a plane, moved clear across the country without so much as a call, text, or Facebook message…

And 6 months later when he deemed it convenient to talk, he hit me up as though nothing had happened and everything is peachy. His conversations and memories hint to me that he believes he is/was the best thing to ever hit my life... (as if that was even close to the case...). And he continues to come at me with this nonsense...

But I would like to thank him. Through this relationship I feel that I grew to be more open. Unafraid to express myself. I've learned to be more appreciative of those qualities that I desire in a mate because they are clearly few and far between. As I look forward to new relationships I see in the future, I'm eager to grow with my mate (when he's found (if not already)). I cannot continue this trial and error/wtf was I thinking lifestyle? In the meantime, I’ll live by the words my brother-in-law Jay-Z..... "I'm on to the next one..."

Don't Put All Your Eggs in 1 Basket

As I grow... I keep my options open


In honor of Easter/Spring…

How many times have you heard this cliché: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket?” One too many times, I’m sure. Whoever started this was definitely onto something; something that I use in my life’s pursuit. Men make habit of keeping their options open and as young, mobile professional women, so should we. Sometimes we find a man that we’re into - things are going well, we’re chatting, we’ve gone on a few dates and then discover that he’s dating other people and end up disappointed when we discover we are only one of his many options. Now, I’ll admit I’m not crazy about the concept of casual dating, but as I mature, I realize that it isn’t so bad as long as it’s kept casual and things don’t get too personal with the men I decide to keep around.

As I continue, my pursuit I keep this in mind. I have my boos who I talk to, kick it with, etc. I plan to keep it this way until one of my " boos" and I decide we to make our relationship exclusive. Until that time, I'm going to keep a dollar worth of dimes...LOL! Well, maybe more like a penny, a couple of nickels, a dime or two and a quarter ;-).

Happy Spring!

Can I Get Your Number?

Yea, he tweeted me....

After reading one of my male friends blogs, A Bachelor’s Pad (You should check it out.), it made me think about one of my many flaws… Communicating via electronic communication (phone, email, text, social networking, etc.). Ever since I was a little girl I was not one for talking on the phone. Most of my friends had fights with their siblings on sharing the phone (pre-everybody having a cell phone and social networking). Some of my friends even had their own lines. I on the other hand, never fought with my sister over the phone. She could talk whenever she wanted. If I was on the phone and she wanted to talk, all she really had to do was ask and it was hers. Fast forward to modern day, people who are close to me have grown to accept the fact that I’m the WORST. LOL I take weeks to respond to text messages, I don’t check my voicemail so that is always full, and I probably WILL NOT answer the phone. They usually know to text me and tell me the reason for me to call them… or just wait to chat with me on G-chat, BBM, twitter DMs, etc. LOL

Where does this leave me in my pursuit? The men I meet always ask for my #. With that question, I know from jump he’s screwed, but I do hit him with the disclaimer that I am not a phone person. I won’t answer the phone when he calls. I don’t want to sit on the phone and “chitchat” with him for hours. His response is usually so how will I get to know you? Which I haven’t quite figured out the answer, but if I actually want to get to know him, it usually works its self out. LOL I’m an in-person type of communicator; most communication is non-verbal and I feel that’s “hanging out” is how we will get to know one another.

I will admit, eventually I get to the point where I will answer his phone calls and even call him. If he makes it to that point, he can tell Charlie Sheen what #winning means LOL. Men who understand my issue or even have this issue themselves (Mr. LT, I think is worse than I am. LOL) tend to stick around for a while…

To really know me is to accept me and ALL my issues.